Step by step

Starting with a 6 minute morning routine. It might seem like it couldn’t make any difference but who knows unless it has been tried. Until the youngest is night weaned it might just be the way to go.

That’s it complete for day 1.

1 minute each of:

Silent sitting







The Driving Force

What is your no.1 reason for changing your morning routine?

More time to myself

Better productivity

More effective in my business

Generate more income

Find a sense of purpose

To fulfill my potential

(These are what came to my mind but I’m sure there are many more possibilities.)

For me it’s to fulfill potential. To allow this flower called Esther to express the full capacity that is present in the seed for flowering, fragrance and beauty

Why did you pick that one?

I feel a sense of urgency about being able to fulfill my potential. I feel like I’m not reaching my potential in the way that I have been doing things recently.

It’s like when growing a flower there is a joy in seeing the bloom, a natural desire to support the plant to make the most of it’s resources. It would be a shame to stunt the plant through inattention or lack of care. There is a desire to nurture.

Why is that important?

It feels like carelessness to let potential go to waste. Turning my back. Ignoring. Heartless. Stingy. I don’t want to regret not making the most of my potential. Looking back at the end of my life and seeing that so much more was possible but due to a lack on my part that possibility was never realised. That I had that responsibility but choose not to embody it.

What are the consequences of not changing your morning routine?

My potential going to waste. A lack of contribution to the whole. Regret at the end of my life. Dissatisfaction at the end of my life.

No time for reflection, for prioritising, for planning. Each day feels so full on and constantly demanding attention with home ed of 3 kids and husband working from home. No space to make a difference in my life just day to day grind. Things not changing. The house never getting organised. The kids not getting a wider range of activities. Not being able to fix the car. Not sure if we’ll be able to move to a different area that we’d like to.

What worries you about that?

Feels hopeless. Can’t see how else it would change. There’s too many things to fix. Don’t know what order to address them in.

So now there is clarity on why it’s important to change the morning routine and the consequences of not doing so.

It gives me time for reflection, planning and prioritising so that I don’t look back on my life with regret. I don’t want to be shown things that could have been but weren’t due to my own lack of taking responsibility for the flowering of potential. I will use the answers to these questions to make my bedtime affirmation and visualisation.

I would love to hear if you find a way to use these 5 questions to help you take action and make a change in your life too. I found them in the book Questions Are The Answers by Allan Pease.


Early morning. Babs is on the breast. She is 18 months old and still feeds through the night. She also feeds for naptime and if she and during the day (maybe once or twice at most and not every day.)

I want her to let go of me.

1. It’s it true? Yes

2. Can I absolutely know it’s true that what I want is for her to let go of me? No

When contemplating this I see that while she is latched on I am responding to an image of my body moving and then identifying with that. I see an image and identify it as freedom. If I get that then I’ll be free. Also meaning that I am not free now.

3. What happens, how do I react when I believe that thought?

I feel impatient with Babs. I project dissatisfaction onto her. I believe I’m an effect of her cause and lacking in independence. I believe I’m a victim.

What do I get to keep or support by believing this thought?

  • My sense of I being identified with this particular body.
  • Separate wills exist and are in conflict with each other.
  • Attack is possible. Defence is necessary.

4. Who or what would I be in that moment, with Babs on the breast, without the thought “I want her to let go of me”?

Compassionate. Loving. Connected.


I want me to let go of myself.

  • To let go of this image of myself.
  • To let go of identifying with this thinking.

I want me to let go of her.

  • My idea of her.
  • The thought that I know who or what she is.
  • The label I’ve given.

Thanks for reading!


Noise at breakfast

Breakfast time. Youngest in the high chair. Eldest on stool. Middle child on a basket chair. One is singing, one is shouting, one is moving about and trying to get down from the chair. Suddenly I feel really uncomfortable. I don’t like what is happening. It all seems like “too much noise”. It’s as though there is a storm going on, apparently ‘out there’…


A moment later the question comes up “Is it noisy now?” There is space to allow what is for a moment and to be in a space of not knowing. As I wait to discover the reality that is presenting itself ‘out there’ it’s as though the storm has passed and the waves are calm again.


I stop and notice my breathing. I listen to what is going on around me. In this moment there is less noise from the kids than before, I can notice that much for sure. I see that if I were to continue feeling wound up about the noise that just happened it is already in the past. It’s not happening now. So where is the energy of the storm? Out there or internal? Right now the only storm would be an internal one. Was it ever out there? Hmm.

So, in this situation at breakfast the underlying thought was “It’s too much!” Using the 4 questions of Byron Katie…

1. Is it true? No.

(What is happening is what is happening. It has not caused me to cease being!)

3. What happens when I believe the thought?

Clenching in the stomach. I lash out with anger in my voice and movements. Impatience with the kids.

What do I get for holding the thought?

I get to be a victim of outside circumstance. I get to hold onto blame. I get to see myself as the innocent one.

4. Who or what would I be, standing by the table at breakfast without the thought “It’s too much”?

Open. Connected. Receptive. Available.

It comes to me now to ask the question “What is arising now?” as in right now in this moment, as opposed to what just happened a moment ago. Particularly when seeming to be at the mercy of an outer situation like the kids being noisy, messy etc.

I might do a Judge Your Neighbour worksheet on this later and find some living turnarounds.


Intention setting

My daily intention for 30 days is to:

  1. Notice any feelings of upset or discomfort that are present in the moment
  2. Bring attention to the senses, feeling my feet, noticing the breath moving in and out, being aware of peripheral vision
  3. Identifying what I am thinking and believing in the moment
  4. Questioning Is it true?
  5. Reflecting upon the experience at the end of each day

Letter to Mum

Thought dictation

I don’t want her to be upset. She has been waiting for me to respond. I don’t know how to say it. I’m not sure what I want to say. I’m afraid to get it wrong. This is going to be difficult. This is going to take a long time. I’d rather not do this. I wish it was easy. I wish I had already written the email. I wish she wouldn’t be so reactive.

Writing this email is going to be difficult.

1. Is it true? Yes

2. Can I absolutely know that writing this email is going to be difficult? No.

3. How do I react when I believe the thought that writing it will be difficult?

Images of past, writing a message, it taking a long time, changing the words a lot of times, being surprised by her response or lack of, husband being exasperated at it taking so long for me to write. Clenching in the abdomen and jaw.

What do I get for holding on to the thought? I get to keep resentment toward mum for being ‘difficult’. I get to keep blame. I get to keep being a victim of a mum who finds it hard to listen without taking it personally.

4. Who or what would I be, writing the email without the thought that it is going to be difficult?

I would be writing it. Feeling connected to mum. Loving and compassionate. Present.

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